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no one likes me. i have oily skin. my friends are abusive. i'm unlovable.
dogs growl at me. small children innately fear me. my clothes are weird and
perpetually unkempt. Radio Shack employees do not attempt to assist me. my
hair is unruly and always either too long or too short. my natural facial
expression is unbecoming and my smile is frightening. i can't spell. girls
make a sport of dumping me. i'm going to die alone, in a fit of despair over
my loneliness. no one misses me when i'm not around. people never think to
invite me places. i'm no good at public speaking. i'm no good at private
speaking. i'm no good at speaking. i'm no good at writing. i'm no good at
anything. i used to be a geek but now i can't even make a claim for geekdom.
everyone here is either a better writer than i am or a better programmer. i'll
never find love, no one will ever no the real me and even if they did it would
probably be unlovable. i have issues. i hate so much of who i was, what i've
done. i hear things. i just sit and watch people, i so rarely interact. i
never try to meet new people; i see glamourously normal people on the bus and
i don't say a word; i just stare. i feel distant from God (but i known he's
still there). i have failed in my resolve. i mess things up. i get used; i
let myself get used; i want to be used... sometimes. i am unnecessary,
unneeded, unwanted. my lips get dry and cracked. i do dangerous, stupid
things. no one loves me, not really; they might say they do, but it's just
talk so that they don't feel so guilty anymore. (that's not true.) no one is
inlove with me, no one will ever be; even if she thinks she is she's not,
it'll be obvious when she dumps me... again. i hurt the ones i love most, but
only after they hurt me (as if that was an excuse). i don't exercise enough.
i have a disrespect for ineffectual authority (as if that was an excuse). it
takes me 10 minutes to boil a three minute egg. i dream of adventure and love
and then i wake up on the interstate. i dislike my grandmothers. i know what
i want to do with my life but i do nothing about it. people think i'm
emotionally dependant, but really i'm just bored. i can walk away from anyone.
i hate that. no one likes me.
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