In LG, I achieve an honesty and a clarity of thought that I
don't think is present elsewhere in my life, due to stunted social skills
from having lived the life of a social pariah for so long, so I hope
you're listening.
I've consumed an entire box of Godiva chocolates in the last hour and
now I'm sitting here, staring out the window as a NS freight train rolls
slowly down the tracks. It's so long, I could run down the stairs and be
out the door and sprint across the street and catch it maybe, maybe I
could get there in time to hop onto the end of one of the grain cars. I
feel like it's calling me. Sometimes I want to escape my life, just for
a little while, you know? I really like my life, it's a great life, but
I want to spend a little while without it; I want to go out and
experience and try new things and not in a small way. I don't want to
just do some new things within my life, I want to leave my life behind and
make up a new one and do *all* new things. I mean, this is my life; I'm
going to graduate and get a job and a house and with any luck I won't
have to change jobs or houses too often and then one day I'll die. And
that's fine, that all I can really ask of life, it's going to be a great
life. But I want more; or, not even really "more", I just want to try
something different as well. All I've ever known is my life, I've never
lived any other lives with which to compare it. I want to try out at
least one other sort of life, one at an opposite extreme, so that I
really *know* that I'm getting a good deal, that my life is where I'll be
happiest, that the life of a faceless drifter would not be more
satisfying. Because the idea really appeals to me... it'd be harder, but
I think I would be more content to live it; and I know that the reality
will be so different from the thought of it and that I probably won't
enjoy it so much, but I have to try, have to live it at least for a
little while, so that I'll truly know.
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