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i used to just go through the motions, repeating the same cycle each day : go to school, do
some work, go home, do more work, watch TV, and perhaps get onto the
internet. And i knew that i was doing it, i meant to do it, go through
the motions without thought, i mean. i had found that if i stopped and
paid attention to the mediocrity of my life, that i became bored and
dissatisfied. i was content through lack of thinking, ignorance
is bliss.
But then one day i went and ate lunch with those people with whom i had
longer harbored the desire to associate. And i liked them, and they me.
And then i began going to parties, and i liked them. Suddenly i woke up out
of my self-induced stupor, because life was now worth taking notice of. And
i absolutely loved my life.
Now i'm at the university, and all those friends are far away. And, at
first, i found myself slipping back into my old ways, just going through the
motions without thought. But i can't go back to that, i can't....... because
i now know what i'm missing. It took me three years of highschool to build up
the courage to go and eat lunch with those people, now my friends. I want to
go up to people in my dorm and do the same but it's hard it's so hard...
When will my misery finally overcome my shyness?
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