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Slow summer mornings while the wind tugged at her hair. That was all
she could remember of the summer before. The cool breeze lifting sweaty
tendrils from her sunburned neck, even catching a few that had wrapped
about her throat. Her hazel eyes squinting against the insistent sun.
She couldn't remember the nights with him. She didn't want to, and so
they were forgotten. Didn't want to remember nights of thoughtless
abandon to desire. Refused to remember nights of pure joy. The pain,
the numbing pain that came later blocked all memory of anything but the
healing, burning sun.
It was the summer before. The summer before everything. The summer
before a new life, away from him, deeper in the sun of the South. The
summer before the loneliness. The summer before the pain.
She walked slowly down the stairs, clutching a blue jean bag to her
side. She shuffled her feet, wrapped in brown sandals, and thought of
him. She didn't know why. She hadn't spoken to him for two months, for
two months the pain had numbed her to, protected her from the world.
And now, suddenly, walking back from class, she heard his voice in her
head, saw his face before her.
"I was thinking about you."
A look.
"I miss you."
A hand on the forearm.
The look continues on.
She cannot speak for a moment. She climbs onto the bus and stares out
the window on her way back. He is gone now, but she can feel his touch
on her arm and his voice in her ear. She blinks slowly, clearing the
fog before her eyes. 'I must have imagined it' she thought as she
walked down the steps of the bus. 'It was just wishful thinking. And
why would I want him to say that to me anyway?'
Pushing the key into the lock, she slid open the door. As she dropped
her bags, she noticed the message light flashing. It flashed red
warnings at her in two second intervals. She bent to untie her sandals
and sat, arms thrown back, on her bed. She hit the play button, and as
she listened she closed her eyes against the bright, insistent sun that
glowed through the window.
"I was thinking about you. I miss you."
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