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All last week I tried without success to drink myself into a loss of
equilibrium, only to have lingering inebriation creep up on me over the
course of the last few days. I was mired in thought to the point of
insomnia and turned to hard liquer for a brief respite from the whirring
pace of my mind's activities, doing three shots all at once and then
following up with an additional couple of shots when the first wave failed to
overcome the adrenaline wave washing along the shores of my conciousness. In
the end it was, each time, all for naught; I eventually plummetted down from
my adrenaline high, crashing into bed, dead to the world in a used up sort
of way.
Yesterday morning I arose from bed only to be struck with a muted sense
of vertigo. As the day progressed, so too did the deadening of my senses,
never quite awakening from the night's sleep but rather sinking more deeply
into a mental haze in which clear, concise thought was all but impossible.
It was as if all of the alcohol which I had, without effect, consumed in my
quest to mute the rambling voice in my head had gotten blocked up somewhere
and was only now seeping into my brain, like a long inebriating procession
with no end in sight.
I fear that I will get stuck like this, or worse yet, that I will not and
that all of the hangovers that I never had will be the next to show up.
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