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I spent almost three hours yesterday driving a total stranger around
town, worrying the entire time that he was going to shoot me, or at least rob
me. Let me start at the beginning.
I was planning on spending the day running errands in preparation for the
start of school and for Burning Man. I stopped by K-Mart for some film.
As I got into my car to leave, an unkempt black man who looked to be in his
mid-thirties approached the car (I wouldn't have bothered with mentioning his
race, save that it is important later in the story).
"Can you give me a jump?", he asked. "The wife and I have to get home to
take care of the kids."
"Sure", I said. 'Something is not right about this guy', I thought.
"Great", he said. "You got any jumper cables?"
"'Fraid not", I said. "Sorry."
The man looked pained. "Damn...", he said. He looked up at me
pleadingly; "I know this is a lot to ask", he said, "but can you give my
wife and I a ride to our home? It's not far."
'If I give this guy a ride', I thought, 'he is going to direct me to some
out-of-the-way place and shoot me, or at least rob me.'
"Sure", I said. "Hop in."
I unlocked the door and he climbed in with a smile. "Thanks man."
"So, where's your wife?", I asked.
"It's my sister", he said. "She's right over there. She needs to get
home to take over taking care of the kids for my sister."
'Yep, something is definitely not right here', I thought. 'I am going to
end up dead.'
"So, where's your car?", I asked.
"Right over there", he said, gesturing vaguely.
We picked up a young woman of approximately the same age and then were off
down the highway. A few exits down the man directed me to turn off and then
directed me to a run-down appartment complex. The woman got out and then the
man turned to me and said,
"Well, I gotta get back now to meet my boss." He wasn't getting out of
the car, so I assumed he wanted me to drive him.
'Oh well, I do not have much to do today anyway', I thought.
"Same place?", I asked.
"Yup", he replied.
So I was driving him back and he kept going on about how he was going to
pay me for this and I kept telling him that I wouldn't accept his money, that
helping him out was the Christian thing to do. Then he started telling me
about how it was his daughter's birthday and how she had cancer and was just
getting out of the hospital after loads of chemotherapy. And I thought to
myself, 'this has got to be a scam in the making'. When we got to the exit
where I needed to turn off in order to take him back to K-Mart, he directed
me to stay on the highway, saying that he was meeting his boss at Home Depot.
I sighed, thinking of how much longer a drive that way. He kept talking about
paying me and about his daughter and then began talking about his boss and how
his boss was an awful racist. I nodded sympatheticly and remarked about how
awful racism was, but the whole time I just kept thinking to myself that this
guy had to be some sort of con artist panhandler. After a while I just wished
that he'd hurry up and ask me for money and get it over with, wished he'd stop
wasting my time.
Well, we got to Home Depot and sure enough his boss wasn't there, so he
couldn't pay me as he had insisted on doing. But he wouldn't give up, he
wanted me to drive him to a pay phone so he could call his boss and try to
get the money. So I drove him to a pay phone and sat in the car while he
talked. Eventually I got out of the car to stretch my legs and approached
him, at which point he promptly hung up.
"I just did a stupid thing", he said.
"Do tell", I replied.
"I told my boss that I didn't appreciate his racist remarks and he told
me he wouldn't give me that advance."
"Well, you have to choose your battles I suppose", I told him. I could
feel the pitch coming on.
He looked pained for a few minutes, moaning about how he had to get some
money to get his daughter a weave so the other kids wouldn't make fun of her
hair which was thinning from the chemo. He turned to me.
"Is there anything you need done, sir?", he asked. "Anything at all that
you could give me some money for?"
"No sir", I replied, "I don't really need anything done." He tried to
come up with suggestions of stuff I needed done for a little while, but I
assured him that I did not, in fact, need any of those things done. He
fell silent for a bit, and then looked at me with a pained expression.
"It hurts me to ask you this, sir", he pitched, "but could you loan me
a little money until Friday? I'll pay you back with interest, sir, I swear
it, you have my word."
"No", I said, "I don't loan people money." I made a great many excuses
and he protested. I tried to stay firm, but somehow he talked me into
going to the ATM machine.
'Here is the part where he robs me', I thought as I put my PIN code into
the machine, but he stayed in the car. I went back to the car and gave him
a $20 bill.
"Can't you give me just forty more", he pleaded. "Hair weaves are
expensive."
"Nope", I said. "That's my tithe for this week; I don't have to put it
in the plate at church until Sunday, though, and you swore you'd have it back
to me before then." He begged and pleaded and cajoled some more, but I stood
firm. Finally, I agreed to drop him off at a friend's house.
'He will direct me to the bad part of town, get me into some secluded
spot and then rob me or shoot me or both', I thought. So we drove to his
friend's house, and sure enough it was in a secluded section of the bad
part of town.
"I'll run in and ask him for a loan", the man said. "Then I'm going to
take you to meet my daughter and we can go to the salon so you can see what
your loan is going for."
'Fat chance', I thought, 'Now hurry up and get out of the car.'
"Here's my address", I said, handing him a slip of paper with my school
post office box on it. He should have realized right then that I wouldn't
be there when he re-emerged from the house, but he got out of the car and
went into the house anyway.
I sped away.
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