I remember courting the Virgin Mary, wondering why it was that she was
never in my dreams. I remember going to bed the night she asked me out and
thinking to myself, 'At last I will dream of her.' But I didn't. That night
I had a rather risque dream involving some other girl. I was rather perplexed
and felt a bit guilty, wondering what this said about my feelings for the
Virgin Mary and how they compared to my perception of them. Several weeks
later I finally had a dream in which she played a bit part. It was enough;
it was all that was fitting.
(People have been asking me why I go on about the Virgin Mary all the time.
It is not, as some claim, that I am not yet over her, but rather it is because
I have no other mature failed relationships to bemoan.)
Chapter 47 Pt. B, in which
Alyssym
is introduced:
Tiny HoTpaNts came to visit Alyssym at her college over Christmas break.
On Thanksgiving Day he sat around in Alyssym's room in his hotpants being
antisocial. TM's mother had invited Alyssym and Tiny HoTpaNts over for a
Thanksgiving dinner, but Tiny HoTpaNts wouldn't go, even when offered a pair
of respectable pants.
Later that night, he and Alyssym went for a walk. At one point, near the
end of the evening, they came upon a veranda almost overgrown with thick ivy.
The moon was full, the music was swelling in the background, and Alyssym and
Tiny HoTpaNts were standing together on a veranda amidst ivy. He turned to
her and said,
"If you were Amanda, I'd kiss you right now."
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