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Back in Chapter 64
i said that i've realized that what i want to do with my life is to meet
people. It's more than that actually; i don't just want to meet them, though
that would be satisfying enough, i want to know them. (That's
not the entire truth either, i also want to be know by them.)
For about a year now i've had the odd desire to photograph people. i
talked about it almost three months ago, in
Chapter 45. Looking
back on that chapter now i realize that this whole photography thing is
intimately related the my desire to know people. As I said, "I wish [that] I
was a famous portrait photographer, and that everyone knew my name, so that I
could just stop total strangers on the street and ask to take their picture[s]
and they would feel hono[u]red and and not think [that] I was a weirdo." i'm
not so concerned with everyone knowing my name, but i think that becoming a
portrait photographer would be a *wonderful* way to meet important people. i'd
love to be a photographer for a magazine or something, taking the photos to
accompany interviews or profiles or stories.
So i know what i want to do with my life, right? And now i know how to
accomplish that goal in an enjoyable way. So why am i doing nothing about it?
i think i'm scared of change, but that could just be me falling back on some
cliche because i'd hate to think that i didn't understand myself, not that i
actually think that i do or anything, so that's not the reason (woohaaaa). i
wonder if the Chronicle lets students with no experience or equiptment be
photographers? That might be a nice way to ease into photography, to see if
it really is my calling in life.
For a long time i've known that i want to do something with computers as
a profession, but now that i'm at Duke i'm not so sure. In high school there
was no one around who knew more about computers than i did, but here at Duke
it seems like everyone in my comp.sci classes knows as much if not more. i'm
beginning to think that maybe i'm just no cut out for a profession in the
computer field, as i had previously thought, after all.
So i'm going to go to
Burning Man
(<--another new link) this summer and i'm going to buy some good Kodachrome
film and i'm going to play photographer for five days in the desert. If my
pics are any good maybe i'll try to make something more of my longings to
photograph people.
maybe i'll start going up to glamourously normal people and ask to take their
pictures...
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